The Snow Junkies

Saint Patrick’s Day! Ireland’s version of the Fourth of July. There are tons of parties and ski deals and all that good stuff. But you you won’t hear about them here because we started celebrating three days ago. All we came up with are the lyrics to Leprechaun 5: Lep in the Hood.

I come from the land of the Irish spring
Dublin’s the place where I learned my thing
From the Emerald Isle to your place in the hood
I’m the man of green come to do no good
Lep in the Hood, come to do no good
Lep in the Hood, come to do no good

Plenteous dope, this place is hype
There’s a lassie, she’s just my type
I hate to resort so soon to magic
Haven’t been laid in so long it’s tragic

I’ll show you what to do, so lend an ear
Don’t worry, little lassie, you’ve got nothing to fear
Sit with the lad who’s lean and green
And let me show you why I’m a love machine

I’m a wee green guy who’s new to town
Show me what you do when you get down
I’ll go up, you go down
We’ll cause a scene, you’ll love the green

Lep and Zombie Girls together:
Lep in the Hood, come to do no good
Lep in the Hood, when we’re bad, we’re good

Site: Totally Awesome Stuff.com

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The local radio station used this weather phrase the other day. It means it’s going to be cold. You got that right? Brass monkeys = frigid weather. Neither did we so we went to the expert on this matter, the expert being the Internet and our “facts” from Michael Quinion. He writes about international English from a British viewpoint. He also sounds like a pompous ass. Here’s his answer:

The full expansion of the phrase is cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey and is common throughout the English-speaking world, though much better known now in Australia and New Zealand than elsewhere. This is perhaps surprising, since we know it was first recorded in the USA, in the 1850s. It is often reduced to the elliptical form that you give (perhaps in deference to polite society — for the same reason, it has been modified in the US into freeze the tail off a brass monkey).

He then precedes into a tirade about Napoleon, cannons, and the mid-19th century. But really, he had us at “balls”.

Site: Worldwidewords.com

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Here’s the link to that hilarious viral video of a snowboarder knocking himself out cold while trying to do a backflip off a chunk of ice. Our favorite parts in order:

3. The dull sound of his head smacking into the ground.
2. The slow motion recap.
1. “Ohhhhhhhh…noooooooo….” at 16 rpm.

Site: Stupidcollege.com

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We love spring. Sunny days. Corn snow. Bikinis on the slopes. And of course loads of deals like this one at Breckenridge. They’re advertising $75 hotel rooms for most of April. We checked the site. It’s more like $150 a night (taxes included) but they have rooms with two queen beds. And there’s no limit to how many people can fit on the floor. Just make sure to say you only have two registered guests. Click here for the reservation site.

Site: Breckenridge, Colorado

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Red Bull is giving you a chance to play editor with Matchstick Productions ski footage.

Your task is to cut together an edit of up to 3 minutes. You can complete your submission by yourself or with partners. Straight edits, motion graphics, slow motion, reverse or strobe, anything goes. You can even remix the music if you are so inclined.

The top edit will be included on Matchstick’s 2006 ski film release. Get registered at www.redbullroughcuts.com — entries due by 5/1.

Site: Red Bull Rough Cuts

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Shaun White is cool, but surely not cool enough to pull off posing on the cover of Rolling Stone looking like an emaciated Carrot Top clone. And yet it happened — showing once again that we don’t know know shit. Below are some of the highlights from his RS interview.

Here’s what he might do with his medal:

He could never take it off, eventually developing a medal-shaped tan line on his chest. He could use it as a backstage pass for everything in life: If a waitress ever hesitated to add eggs to his breakfast order, he could whip out the medal. Then the impressed waitress, White explains, would say, “I’ll see what I can do.”

And here he talks about getting a new nickname:

He feels like he’s ready for a new nickname, but he knows that by the international rules of sports and coolness, he can’t make it up himself. “I’d just come up with something bad like ‘Incredibly Handsome Man,’” he says, and then reflects for a moment. “Sir Shaun of Shaunalot.” His stare is completely deadpan. “If you wanna pick it up, that’s fine. I’m throwing out gold here.”

Site: Rolling Stone Magazine

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The United States has the world’s most expensive six-day lift pass according to the 2005-06 World Lift Ticket Price Survey. The cheapest?

For bargain-hunters, Iran is believed to have the cheapest six-day lift ticket in the world, with a pass for the resort of Dizin (which has a good selection of chair and gondola lifts) priced at $32. That’s about fifteen times less than the price of the top U.S. fare.

We’re sure there must be more amazing facts, but the full report costs $90. That’s like 3 weeks of skiing in family friendly Iran.

Site: U.S. Ski Area Management

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Zeke Peak is a brain damaged doll who is also the mascot of the Jiminy Peak ski patrol. Zeke used to be a (no kidding) nuclear physicist. Now he just skis all day and crashes into stuff all caught on hilarious home made videos.

Site: Jiminy Peak

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Alfred Ford, great-grandson of Henry, thought his new Himalayan luxury ski resort was ready to be built. He had the investors. He had the Indian government’s approval. He was just missing one thing.

The blessing of the gods. From the London Telegraph:

A formal Jagati Puch (grand convention) of 175 local deities was called to decide whether the project was in the interests of local people.

Mr Ford and John Sims, the project’s managing director, adopted the Hindu names of “Amrish” and “Abhiram” ahead of the ceremony, but the gods were not to be appeased.

Nine out of 10 gods who expressed a preference said the village would be inimical to the valley’s interests.

Mr Sims could barely conceal his irritation. “The gods were asked all the wrong questions,” he said.

The Himalayan Ski Village has been rejected “as it is presented” to the gods.

At least the web site is still very pretty.

Site: Telegraph (UK)

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Here’s Jillian from Colorado. Like all Freeze Lifites of the Month, we’re not sure if the girl actually ever bumped a chair.

Do you care? That’s what we thought.

Jillian likes hot chocolate with peppermint schnapps and thinks the only the way to make long underwear sexy is to cut them off, but as she keenly points out, “then they wouldn’t be long underwear anymore.” Wise, wise words. Are you really still reading this? Here’s the slideshow.

Site: Freeze Magazine

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Getting a lift ticket for free is just wicked awesome. Check out our February finds below:

Rent a car from Hertz locations in Quebec and get a free lift ticket to either Mont Tremblant, Mont-Sainte-Anne or Stoneham.

Season pass holders of any other California resort get a free all-day ticket at Big Bear Mountain Monday thru Friday.

Show your boarding pass at Jackson Hole Sports and get a free ski/snowboard rental along with a free half-day ticket.

In North Carolina, ladies ski for free at Beech Mountain on Mondays and Hawksnest on Wednesdays.

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Here’s a lovely question that came up at a recent party: Can I catch something from having sex in a hot tub?

As it turns out you little freaks, the experts say go for it. The experts in this case being Redbook:

…chlorine and bromine in a hot tub kill germs, so getting an infection is extremely unlikely. And no, the chlorine won’t harm you. The risk of suffering total mortification upon getting caught doing the deed in a hotel hot tub is another story.

We also learned from Teenwire that you can have sex in the water without getting stuck together from the suction. Who knew?

Don’t forget, tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. We dug up a few deals for the holiday.

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Sometimes the whole snow phone process is just too much. You wake up tired or hungover, maybe with a stranger in your bed. Then there’s that damn chirpy voice on the other end who takes forever to tell you that only two inches fell leaving you awake, still tired, and having to deal with that situation lying next to you.

First Tracks!! Online Magazine now offers a service that will send you a text message on powder days. You set up the time you want it, the resorts, and the amount of snow that will set off your Whole Lotta Love ringtone.

The texts are free, although your carrier might charge you a whopping couple of pennies for each one.

Site: First Tracks!! Online Ski Magazine

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